No, Cupid

Online Dating

I have been on and off the online dating site, OKCupid, for a number of years now; off during moments of contempt and clarity, on during moments of loneliness, longing and slight inebriation. I’m currently in the latter stage and decided that, this time, it might be a good idea to document my various failures and successes.

Let’s start with a failure because, let’s be honest, it’s OKCupid. Here are the highlights from my date with Dan*:

1. Met someone even MORE awkward than myself, and somehow became the non-awkward one. It was awkward.

2. For the first time ever I went on a date with a bro, but the bro was me! See, we went to this bar near my house on Thanksgiving eve which is, apparently, one of the busiest drinking nights of the year. The bar was PACKED…with extremely attractive men. I found my gaze slowly drifting away from Dan’s face to the babe(s) at the bar behind him. I struggled to pay attention and I hated myself. I really hope he didn’t notice.

3. Towards the end of the date when I told Dan I didn’t see this going anywhere besides a friendship, I was given the pleasure of a 15 minute – NO JOKE – detailed explanation on why he was in agreement. Sigh.

4. Dan is bisexual and, after we got past his Reasons Why I’m Also Not Attracted to You Guide, he told me about an experiment he’d done on OKCupid where he’d made a fake profile as a woman. He’d experienced a small amount of harassment from the Men of OKCupid (MOO) when he changed his sexual orientation to “Bisexual” so he wanted to see the online dating world from a female’s perspective. That definitely gave us (and any female who has ever used the internet ever) something to talk about. MOO are the worst.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see Dan again (though he has sent me two different pictures of his cats in the last 2 days…I have to stop giving my phone number out so quickly) but I’m going to take this mediocre date as encouragement to keep trying. It could be better, and it could be worse, and sometimes it’s neither and you just get a few free beers out of it.

*Name has been changed due to my inability to remember this guy’s actual name.


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